Bonus: Why is butter yellow? (and other questions)
Hey. I'm Melissa.
Jam:I'm Jam.
Melissa:And I'm a chemist.
Jam:And I'm not.
Melissa:And welcome to chemistry for your life.
Jam:The podcast helps you understand the chemistry of your everyday life, bonus edition.
Melissa:Bonus edition. Yay. Okay. Well, before we get into listener questions, It's time to announce that our YouTube subscription giveaway that we did where we, if you subscribe to YouTube, then you Emailed us, then you were entered into a giveaway to win any piece of merch that we would, get shipped to you, and we, randomly drew. We have, Like, over 50 maybe.
Jam:Yeah. We had a lot of people subscribe, but the people who actually also emailed us and Let us know that they subscribed and stuff like that who followed all the directions. Was it was it a little bit north of 50 people?
Melissa:Yeah. So that was good.
Jam:Yeah.
Melissa:So we randomly picked a number and counted to that email, and that listener is Nicole g in the Czech Republic. Isn't that so cool?
Jam:Yes. It was super cool. And sorry we didn't announce this earlier. We wanna make sure that we could get the piece of merch to Nicole and all that stuff, and we, yeah, we didn't want to announce it before Nicole had actually received this stuff. So, anyway, that makes sense.
Melissa:So we wanted to let y'all know that the giveaway is over and that, Nicole has received their whatever the merch was. I think it was a shirt. Right?
Jam:Yeah.
Melissa:And don't feel too sad though because we'll definitely do more of these in the future it was really fun.
Jam:Yep. Yes. Thank you all for subscribing on our, YouTube channel, and it was super helpful to get a, Like, a good number of new subscribers in there, and a lot of you guys, of course, are people who have already listening to the podcast and, are avid listeners. So we appreciate you guys doing that, and we'll Definitely do more because you guys did a great job, so thank you.
Melissa:That was awesome. It's really fun to hear from people, and a lot of people left little nice notes in their subscription email where they'd say things like, oh, thanks. I love the show or whatever. So that was also really encouraging. So We have such great listeners who are so communicative, and I'm really appreciative of that.
Jam:Yeah. Same.
Melissa:Alright. Are you ready to get into these questions?
Jam:I'm ready. I'm very ready. Are you ready? Either one has to answer them. Mostly, I just have to read them.
Jam:So
Melissa:Yeah. I think I'm ready.
Jam:Yeah. Okay. First1 is from Tim p, our Patron, and he, he can read it himself. We might end up adding that in for the audio version, but I'll read this for the, video version. Why do people think That baking soda and vinegar will clean better than detergent.
Melissa:Okay. I've wondered about this. So, we've kinda talked about the reaction between baking soda and any acid before, like, on the difference between baking soda and baking powder episode and a few other things where Baking soda, when it reacts with an acid, basically turns into carbon dioxide. So that's the bubbles that you see and water. Mhmm.
Melissa:And so, technically, it neutralizes each other, so neither of them is really basic or acidic anymore. But I do have a few theories about this. One, I think baking soda by itself is actually can sometimes be good because it can be kind of abrasive. And if the thing that you're trying to get clean, if there's an acidic component, it will react with the acidic thing.
Jam:Okay.
Melissa:And then same thing if you're pouring vinegar and you have something that's somewhat vase basic. It could, you know, react with a basic thing.
Jam:Right.
Melissa:But the other thing I think is more likely, actually, I think it's twofold. One, it makes those bubbles, which I think can get into small spaces and and make debris sort of bubble up and make it easier to wash away. And then 2, in my experience, most of the time, there's leftover baking powder, and so I think it almost makes, like, yeah, the abrasive paste that then makes it give the feeling that it's cleaning more effectively. But I'm not sure that that is actually true. In my experience, I don't usually use baking powder
Jam:Soda?
Melissa:And or, yeah, baking soda, sorry, and vinegar mixed together to to clean things because I'm like, well, these are just gonna neutralize unless it's something that I'm like, oh, these air bubbles might help me
Jam:out. Right. I have, and I but I haven't heard someone say this before, that it's better than detergent. It's just that there's a couple of things that I have had that have The directions of how to clean it have said use baking soda, and not all is even vinegar. It looked like Baking soda and warm water.
Melissa:Baking soda by itself oftentimes is something effective to clean. But when you mix it with vinegar, then I get confused because I'm like, Are these just oh, I just hit the mic. Are these just go aren't these just gonna neutralize unless you're relying on those air bubbles for something?
Jam:Yeah. That's interesting. There's there's a part of our roaster that that asks you to only clean it with baking soda. And the big part of it is, like, I just wanna follow directions. Mhmm.
Jam:And then something goes wrong, I like, our warranty
Melissa:acidic. Right?
Jam:Right. Right. But it's a part of the roaster that it's just part of the exhaust, I don't know if it had anything to do with the actual, like, coffee stuff. It's just, like, cleaning out a part that gets hot and gets, like, just dirty over time and stuff. But
Melissa:And I have heard people put Baking soda in, like, in their laundry sometimes to help eliminate odors and people put vinegar. I've heard mixed reviews on that. Sometimes we'll do, vinegar too if if there's a buildup of detergent in the in the washing machine. Yeah. But I actually interpreted this when he said better than detergent.
Melissa:I actually interpreted that to mean, Like, any kind of soap is, like, sort of a detergent. I didn't think he meant literally laundry detergent.
Jam:Right. Right.
Melissa:Thought he just meant, like, Like, in the shower, to clean your shower, some people will use soaps and some people use, you know Right. These combination.
Jam:Yeah. Interesting.
Melissa:So I don't know. That's my answer. I have the same question, and I'm not sure. But if you're a professional cleaner and you have feedback, we'd love to hear it.
Jam:Yeah. 100%.
Melissa:And both of them, I think, separately. I have used both of them separately to clean things. Yeah. But when you combine them, I just so that was how I interpreted his question.
Jam:Yeah. Interesting. This next one's from Audrey m. Audrey asks, so if butter comes from whipped cream, which comes from milk, Why is butter yellow? And she did the emojis like this.
Jam:Look with the just the eyes on it. Eyes? Is it unnaturally colored, Or does that color change take place as a result of the proteins being denatured like eggs?
Melissa:I actually think it's neither. I think that I Very briefly Googled this, and I was like, oh, that kinda makes sense. But I actually think we could probably do a whole episode on this. But my guess is so Well, this part isn't a guess. This is a fact.
Melissa:Butter has a lot of fats, you know, which are long chains of molecules, which are usually not very polar. Mhmm. And a lot of, pigments or things with colors are also long and not polar. And so with that background knowledge, I quickly googled and something said that there is a pigment in milk, but it's so dilute in the milk That it doesn't really come through. But then when you isolate the fat, the pigment moves with the fat, and so it gives a slight thing to butter.
Melissa:Mhmm. A slight Tint to butter. Right.
Jam:And
Melissa:that makes sense to me. I can't swear by it, and I try not to spend too much time researching for these q and r's, but I love that question. I was like, I never thought about that. That's such a good question.
Jam:Yeah.
Melissa:And then when you whip up butter, a lot of times it loses that Color.
Jam:Right. Right.
Melissa:Which I'm wondering, is it because then, like, there's enough air in there that's kinda not concentrated again?
Jam:Interesting.
Melissa:That was a really good question, Audrey. Audrey also asked as a maybe a follow-up to butter
Jam:Mhmm.
Melissa:What our stovetop Popcorn recipe is. Yes. And I think both of ours have changed since we first shared it with each other. Yeah. After thinking, I think I may have learned it from a friend in college.
Jam:Yeah. You said out of you said that in the last episode 2 and in person in real life. But what one time, Em asked you that, and you're like, that I remember her making that, but I don't remember knowing it well to tell you. And so that was like it's that detail's kinda floated around in the
Melissa:story somewhere. Who knows? The more that I was like, the more that sounds right, but I don't know. Anyway Yeah. So I think both of ours have changed quite a bit.
Jam:Yeah. Also, I wanted to say too, whenever I was editing that episode, there was a point where Em was, like, hanging out near me, working on charts or something like that. And she got such a kick out of the fact that that story wound its way into she loved it so much.
Melissa:I think it did you tell her on her birthday? She texted me on her birthday, I think.
Jam:It may have been well, it might have been the night before that, actually. But, yeah, Anyway, super funny.
Melissa:That was funny.
Jam:I can give the short version or just you just wanted to post it. What should we do?
Melissa:Let's give a quick version. So I don't actually do it on the stove usually anymore. I got I can. Yeah. But I got, one of those for Christmas 1 year.
Melissa:I got this thing that's, like, A silicone ball and it's collapsible. And I actually just made this yesterday because we had a cute movie night at home. But I just pour the popcorn kernels into, like, the bottom layer of the bowl. There's, like, a little line that's like a fill line here. And then I just drizzle enough oil that they're coated, like a little coat with a little bit of excess.
Melissa:Uh-huh. And then you just put it in the microwave with a little lid on for about 2 minutes, And it pops. It's just less work, so I've, switched to that lately.
Jam:Yeah.
Melissa:And then what's your you still do it on the stovetop?
Jam:Yeah. We still we still do it on the stovetop, and ours is pretty simple, but it definitely is a little bit more work than what you're saying. But it what's nice is that I feel like it's pretty scalable depending on what you need to do. Mhmm. Because it's like using a pot, which is pretty large and and, but what we do is we put in a layer of oil That's just enough to, basically spread across the whole bottom of the pot.
Jam:Mhmm. Not be like a lot, but just just where it's Covering the whole bottom, and then we put in 1 quarter cup of kernels most of the time, but it can it can handle more than that. Oh, actually, you put that to the side, and you just put 3 kernels in the oil Oh. At the beginning and put the put the stove on, like, a medium or, like, slightly below medium heat. And then once all 3 of those kernels have popped, those are your test kernels, You take it off the heat, put the quarter cup of kernels in.
Jam:Sorry for people who don't use cups, like we do over here. Yeah. You can look up a good conversion for that or whatever. But, and then shake it around in the hot oil for 30 seconds with before you put back on the heat. So it's getting all, like, it's getting all the kernels as ready to pop as possible Mhmm.
Jam:Yeah. Without Actually, introducing more heat, just getting them kinda up to temp a little bit, and then you put them back on on the all the audio folks didn't get to see my shaking
Melissa:Yeah. His Minding
Jam:That I was doing for, like, a odd amount of time. And then put it back on the heat, and Let them pop. They all pop pretty quickly, and you kinda do the classic thing of when it starts slowing down and there's a lot of space between pops, we take it off and pour it out quickly. What I sometimes do though is when I add that quarter cup of kernels, I add some butter then as well, But I don't always do that. And then we just salt it, after we get it out into the
Melissa:Usually with the oil, it has enough flavor that I don't usually need to add butter. But,
Jam:Uh-huh.
Melissa:We put that, like, right in front of our TV, so it felt like a movie night. And I was like, well, for movie popcorn, you have butter. So I did put melted butter on it for that. But, Usually, I just salt it when it comes out, and that's, you know, enough flavor.
Jam:Yeah. Yeah. I like this. Just salt. Salt is most time enough for me too.
Melissa:I think when I did it on the stove, I didn't do the test kernels. I would just pour kernels in oil and shake it around and then put it on the stove.
Jam:Oh, yeah.
Melissa:And I think it was Fine. I do think sometimes it you could maybe burn if you weren't paying close attention, though. So there's probably benefit to doing it that way. But if that's intimidating, As long as you don't let it go too long, you can't really mess it up.
Jam:Yeah. Yeah.
Melissa:Just try it.
Jam:Yeah. Also, my wife and I don't have the details of this one, so I'll have to get it if if you're interested. But, my wife has done a kind of, like, it's not quite kettle corn recipe, but a a way to make it A little bit sweet with the salty, and he does honey and something else. But I don't know the amounts, and I don't know when she adds that. I'm sure it's after.
Jam:I just don't know Exactly how and when and stuff like that. So but she loves doing it that way now a lot because she just loves kettle corn, and it's it's close enough.
Melissa:Yeah. So Well, that's fun.
Jam:Thank you.
Melissa:Thanks for asking, Audrey.
Jam:Okay. Ready for this one?
Melissa:Yep.
Jam:Is there a way to access your dissertation and or thesis? This is from David m.
Melissa:Yes. Technically. Well and also no. So my thesis my master's thesis, I'm sure, is available somewhere, but You can also just find the paper online. And if you really wanna read it, you can reach out to me.
Melissa:And that's easier to read and more concise on the Thesis because a lot of times what you do, in chemistry is your thesis is just the papers that you've written and published, And you tie them together for your dissertation. It's often multiple papers. And for a master's, it's often 1 long paper or 2 small papers. You know?
Jam:Yeah.
Melissa:So, you could just ask me for the paper, and that'd be better, honestly. My dissertation thesis, we did not Make available to the public because it hadn't been published in peer reviewed journals yet, and we didn't wanna effectively get scooped. You know? So we We waited a little bit. So you actually can't read that, but you can the paper the first chapter is published in an in a journal that is open access called the Royal Society of Chemistry, chemistry education research on practice.
Melissa:So you can just Go read the 1st chapter if you wanna do. It's, I guess, take it as a 2nd chapter. The first one's an introduction. But It's just a paper available online, and you can look it up. And we've submitted the 2nd chapter, although it hasn't been accepted yet, and it can take a long time, especially with revisions.
Melissa:And the 3rd chapter, we are still in edits on our side, but it's, like, close to be submitted. So probably the fastest thing I think we actually put a 3 or 4 year embargo on my dissertation. So probably the fastest way is just read the papers as they come out. But if you really want it, you can email me. I would give it to you.
Melissa:Nice. Care.
Jam:It's like, is it so much different deal than just, like, letting it be out there for everybody. It's like Yeah. By request, I mean, you know, crazy could it get? You know?
Melissa:Yeah. I'll just send you the 1st paper and the second one that's been submitted. So
Jam:Yeah. Great question. This one is from Kaiba, and this continues the The discussion we had, I guess, it's a couple here and a hour ago now, but Yeah. The it's a hotdog, a sandwich. So he said, I've seen that a hotdog is not a sandwich, but a taco, And I've gotta share that, but my question is
Melissa:No. That's my question.
Jam:Added that. Sorry. So, Kai, you just said I gotta I gotta ask that. Gotta throw that in there. That a hot dog is not a sandwich, but is a taco.
Melissa:Okay. So for me, though, my question is why is a taco also not a sandwich? Where do we draw the line? I mean, obviously, a taco is, you know, from a different culture than I feel like sandwiches are pretty American. Maybe not.
Melissa:Maybe they're Also British, but
Jam:Yeah.
Melissa:Definitely different culture.
Jam:Right.
Melissa:But but also, it's technically, it's like bread folded around a filling. Yeah. So that feels it feels like they're in the same category to me.
Jam:Yeah. I I would say Gut instinct, but I'd have to think about it a little bit, that I would put a hot dog and taco different because in my mind, A hot dog has 2 buns, but they are connected. Mhmm. But they seem to be 2 different pieces of bread, which
Melissa:They're, like, barely connected.
Jam:Barely connected, Which is a lot like a sub sandwich. Mhmm. Whereas, like, we do have wraps, and even wraps that aren't tacos are wraps and not sandwiches. Sandwiches. That's right.
Jam:My thought would be like, in that case, what changes is there's one clear piece of, you know, bread like stuff That's wrapped around, and that's not how I felt hot dogs are beef. The other thing is the difference in tortillas and wraps and stuff, that kind of thing. It's not, bread that rises. It's flat. And, you know, it's like we don't call, Other there's other things that
Melissa:have bread.
Jam:Yeah. A flat bread kinda deal. My thought is that that makes a difference to in the distinction between Sandwich and not sandwich is are there sort of 2 parts of bread? And, also, is the bread has the bread reason in some way.
Melissa:Interesting. What I like about this question is that it forces you to think about patterns and categorize things, And that's we've already checked about this, but that's why I make my students have this conversation the 1st day of class. Because I'm like, I don't know that there's there's not a right answer. People wouldn't just be having this conversation. But it's so interesting that we get to, like, think about the categories and the patterns and why we draw the lines the way we do, and also what is our versus someone else's perspective.
Melissa:Yeah. So I just really like this question. Kind of a a funny perspective thing that happened to me is I was studying at the library, And I told my friend I was in library room 3. Like, I stuck my head out, looked at the door. It said 3.
Melissa:I texted that. Then when she got there, she was like, you're in study room too. And I was like, I'm not. So I opened the door and shouted at the sign. She goes, weird.
Melissa:I thought that said too. And then we just both went back to working. And then when I left, I turned around and realized that On the door itself, it says study room 2, but there's a little sign next to the door that says study room 3.
Jam:What the heck?
Melissa:So we are both right, and I was like, that's a good lesson in perspectives and, like, where you're standing impacting what you see and think.
Jam:It's very true, except that it in reality, the realest reality, not just labeling, but it If you're numbering rooms, it can't be both 23.
Melissa:Like It can't just it can't be both 23. What happened, I think, was originally there were 3 study rooms, so that was a permanent sign, and then the first one got repurposed.
Jam:Uh-huh.
Melissa:And so they changed to study room 1 and 2 instead of just saying study room 2 and 3 and there being no study
Jam:room 1. Right.
Melissa:Yeah. Yeah.
Jam:Yeah. That's what
Melissa:actually happened, I think. So funny. So
Jam:I love that.
Melissa:Okay. That was a that was a fun little trip down perspective Div and, yeah.
Jam:Yeah. That's funny. Okay. Next question is from Mohammed, and Mohammed says, which type of bonding is the strongest Type.
Melissa:Okay. So I didn't know if he meant, like, literally which type or I found a paper that looked into which Literal bonds, like I think they said hydrogen cyanide and things like that, which actual bonds between what element or what yeah. Elements Uh-huh. And atoms are the strongest, but I interpret it initially to mean, like, on the scale from intermolecular forces, which aren't really bonds, but just electronic attraction between 2 molecules all the way to, Like ionic bonds.
Jam:Mhmm.
Melissa:I think of that as kind of a spectrum. So all of them are just electrons being attracted to one another, like a Partially positive, partially negative being attracted to each other. And there are sort of cutoff values, but, like, intermolecular forces are Individual electrons as part of a molecule that are bringing molecules together. So that is some type of attractive force, but it is relatively weak. I think hydrogen bonding is kind of like on the edge of covalent bonding, which is where electrons are so drawn to one another that they are they say that they're shared between 2 atoms, and so these are these 2 atoms are bonded together.
Melissa:It's no longer just like a temporary attractive force, But they're semi permanently held together. You know? Yep. And but even within covalent bonding, there's a spectrum of of stronger and weaker covalent bonds. And even, like, if you have a single bond versus double bond versus triple bond, that changes the level of attraction between those 2 atoms.
Melissa:Mhmm. But on the far side of that is actually ionic bonding, which is where an element is given up its atom to an mhmm. Switch that. Sorry. An atom has given up its electron tron
Jam:Okay.
Melissa:To another atom. So one is got a fully negative, and the other has a fully positive charge, and then they are bound together by their attractive forces. So it's almost like they're not even sharing electrons anymore. The electron has almost completely gone to one side, but But now one's negative and one's positive, so they wanna be together is kind of how we characterize that. Yeah.
Melissa:I would say that is the strongest. And a good way that you can tell something like that is to look at melting points. And did your printer just turn on for no reason?
Jam:Yes. It's like it just did, so that's weird.
Melissa:Weird. There's a kind of a storm happening around us. There's thunder rumbling, and now if you can hear the background noise of a printer, that's why. It just turned on. It was not on.
Melissa:It just turned on.
Jam:Yeah. Very weird.
Melissa:Very weird. Okay. Spooky. It was like electrical surge or something.
Jam:Maybe so.
Melissa:Anyway, so I would say the ionic bonds are the strongest, and And often you can sort of look at the spectrum of, like well, I guess that might be more intermolecular forces if you think of, like, what melts more easily. Because ionic buns never melt. They just degrade.
Jam:Okay. Yeah.
Melissa:Like, you don't use you're not usually able to melt salt. Uh-huh. It just starts to break down or its melting point is really, really, really high. So Yeah. So I would say ionic bonds are the strongest to break.
Melissa:That's my thought.
Jam:Good question. Dang.
Melissa:Yeah. So we just went on a whole trip about what even is a bond. Yeah. I've thought about doing an episode like what even is a bond Mhmm. But I just don't really feel like that's a question people think about every day.
Jam:Right. Right. So
Melissa:that's why we haven't talked about that in an episode in itself. A good question, Mohammed.
Jam:Yes. Very good one. This is one that we have been upset about. Mhmm. How does Some block work.
Jam:Caroline v asked this on Instagram.
Melissa:Okay. So I included this because Caroline v asked this, and then Neil asked about tattoos, and I was like I responded both of them on Instagram. We already have those episodes. And Apple Podcast, If you're that's what you're using. It does not have the best search function.
Melissa:Like, you can search chemistry tattoo and maybe will come up, but also, like, People use chemistry as, like, you know, the chemistry between 2 people. Right. And so it's not the best. But on my podcast app, that I use more frequently called Stitcher.
Jam:And mine too, which is not Stitcher, which is called podcast, but same thing.
Melissa:You can go to the Show and search in the show. So a lot of times, if people ask, like, oh, have you done this? And I'm pretty sure we have. I can't remember the name of the episode. I will use That search function to find, I I literally oh, sorry.
Melissa:I hit the mic. I literally went to Stitcher, pulled up our podcast, typed in tattoo, Copied the name and sent it to Neil. So, yes, we have if you're interested in looking through our library for something, I found that that's actually the best search function. Even Google, if you type in chemistry for your life in a topic, is not as effective Yep. Consistently as within the podcast app Yep.
Melissa:Itself.
Jam:So maybe look for a different podcast app that can do that because I think a lot of them can, and they many of them should be free. So Yeah. I think you might have to pitch up. You might be glad. You might be like, oh, this is so much easier.
Jam:And then for our podcast and others, I'd be glad to have it. So
Melissa:So I just wanted it to say that instead of answering Caroline's question, I'm answering the underlying question, which is how can I find out what you've done an episode on, and where can I get those episodes?
Jam:Yes. And, also, we'll tell you.
Melissa:Yeah. We will tell you. Yeah. Usually, when people ask that, I just respond back and say, we did that episode already. Called this, you know, but I do go and search it usually.
Jam:Okay. Remember the next one? Yep. 1st one that actually is sort of
Melissa:Oh, this one's for you. I'll read it.
Jam:Okay.
Melissa:Okay. So this is from David M, and he asked, Jam, what advice do you have for a budding dad to be? We're a few months away, and I'm starting to get nervous, but so excited.
Jam:That is awesome. First of all, congrats to you and your spouse, and excited for you guys. So, yeah, what type of question? This is hard. I here's a couple thoughts, and I just know this is a kind of question that Later on, like, I'll be driving around somewhere.
Jam:They'd be like, oh, I should've said this. Dang it. Yeah. But it's one of those things like anything where you get used to it, and you do kind of forget how to be helpful sometimes. Like, oh, right.
Jam:What's the thing I wish I had someone told me or whatever. So, anyway, I apologize ahead of time for not being very exhaustive or helpful. But couple things. 1, I found depending on situation, this would this would vary. But, Say you and your wife are having, like, a biological kid or you and your spouse are having a biological kid, and so one of you is caring for the other one while 1 of those pregnant
Melissa:Yeah.
Jam:For these months that, like, you get closer and closer to a due date. I found that, Mike, that was the situation I was in, that My role initially stayed very much the same because, in the later months of pregnancy, you are helping Your pregnant partner or spouse or whoever just do stuff. You
Melissa:know? Dysfunction.
Jam:Dysfunction and do do things for them, get things for them, all that kind of stuff. I discovered that early on in my situation, my role basically stayed that way because that was the most Helpful thing. My wife was still recovering from just all that had happened and also was regularly the one who Was needing to hold the baby most often and, you know, feed our baby and stuff like that and was, You know, aching and Yeah. And getting up and getting food, all kinds of stuff. So keeping my wife fed and happy and hydrated and all that kind of stuff was a big part of it.
Jam:And I found that the initial phase was just keep being the hands and feet of my partner.
Melissa:You know?
Jam:Yeah.
Melissa:That's somewhere the one thing I've heard is, like, if you're, if the mom is nursing
Jam:Yeah.
Melissa:The partner should always be doing something while the mom is nursing. So if the mom's nursing, you're making them food.
Jam:Yep.
Melissa:You're Doing the dishes. You're, like, cleaning bottles. If you're also using bottles, you're running laundry. Like, you're always doing something to help the household run because they're also doing something to the household run.
Jam:Yeah.
Melissa:But I'm not a parent, so I didn't know if that was good advice. So I actually wanted to ask you
Jam:if
Melissa:that was something you thought.
Jam:I feel like but there is this feeling of, I've talked to many dads, and I felt this myself that you've kinda feel useless at first because there is these, like, inherent bodily Functions that in many cases, the mother is performing with the baby. Yeah. And We gotta find our other stuff. We gotta find our other rules, but, you can kinda feel like, woah. What do I do?
Jam:And, also, instinct isn't always kicking in, whereas Lot of moms will will talk about something that kinda kicks in for them. The other thing I would say too is as a a a new dad, just be Patient with yourself about that stuff and just try to be helpful. And, I think one of the things that's kind of interesting is That there's a connection that a lot of moms have with the baby before the baby's even born because they've been feeling that for a long time. Yeah. And as dads, that can just be kinda harder to feel, and don't worry about that.
Jam:It's okay for it to feel like not a super strong connection to this little creature Right out of the gate, it'll come with time. So that's another thing. Don't freak out if you're like, I don't Feel, like, a sense of ownership about this thing yet. And also, I remember my wife and I both feeling like, they just let us, like, leave the hospital with this thing. Like, you kinda feel unqualified.
Jam:Even moms feel that way too. So it's, like, it's normal, but, just be patient with yourself. Those are the 2 things that came to mind in the The minutes that I had this question in mind before we start recording.
Melissa:Something also I've heard from, like, the wife perspective is a lot of Times even as the kids are getting older, the dad just refers to their mom a lot. So it's like, okay. What do you need? What do you need? What do you need?
Melissa:Instead of them sort of taking initiative. So that's kind of putting work back on the the bomb to have to think about like, hold everything in their mind. It's sometimes called the mental load. But if you're just, like, look around and decide, you know, what would be helpful and start doing something, a lot of times, that's the best move because you're not Relying on them to think through what needs to be done all the time, that's a harder one to, I think, to build because it is more natural, I think, maybe just Either biologically or by society that moms think about all these things I've noticed, but that's something I've heard, my friends who are moms Express that they wish, like, oh, I sometimes I wish I didn't have to remember everything. You know?
Jam:As soon as you can Create a situation where the mother of your child can go on a walk or go
Melissa:Oh, yeah.
Jam:Take a nap or go to Target and look at clothes or go Mhmm. Get a soda, whatever. And you, sometimes they're not ready, that's fine. Don't push it. If they're not if they don't wanna do that.
Jam:Right. But if they can have a break from having a baby attached to them or or be or holding it Oh, yeah. Very good
Melissa:I've heard that too. Like, they get they're like moms are like, I'm so touched out. Like, there's always a baby touching me, and I just wanna go Be by myself at Target. I've literally heard them say that. I just wanna go to Target Yep.
Melissa:And not even have to do anything. Just go walk around. Even if I have to buy some groceries, but just being by myself.
Jam:This was this was like it's always a fact, I'm sure, but, I fell I feel like ours was even more increased with the COVID baby situation where
Melissa:Yeah.
Jam:My wife was felt very cabin fever and all that kind of stuff. Very crowded. But, yeah. And it also gives gives you a chance to Watch the baby by yourself. No one else is deferred to.
Jam:You gotta do it. You gotta try things. What oh, why are they crying? I'll I'll change the diaper. Or why are they crying?
Jam:I'll try to give them pacifier. I'll try to, like, walk around and, like, bounce a little bit. It just you get try time to try things because it's your kid too, and you gotta try your things. There's things that I would do that worked great for me It didn't work as the same way for my wife or she had a different tactic Yeah. Which makes sense because she can actually, you know, recipe.
Jam:So it's like Yeah. We gotta find our own ways to to parent our kids. But,
Melissa:I also know that there's you might be in this dad's group, but there was a dad's group where one of the dads is like, here's everything I try when my baby's mad and, like, sent it to his friends. Yeah. It's like the dad's guide to getting your baby to stop crying or whatever.
Jam:But it's nice because, like, anything, we all we all learn by doing and also by doing poorly some. But, if you send your spouse, partner, wife away or whatever and let you Try it on your own for a bit. You will figure some stuff out.
Melissa:That's good advice. Yep. I'm glad we have a seasoned dad, and Jam's kids are great. And he seems like a great father from my perspective, so he's a good one to get advice from.
Jam:Yeah. Most has never seen my failures. My my face was at least.
Melissa:So the next thing David asked as a follow-up was what are both of your best dad jokes? And I have an answer to this one immediately.
Jam:You go first.
Melissa:So this became my favorite dad's joke because my friend Hannah said it Okay. As I was hugging her to leave at a, like, some event. I said, I'm so glad I got to you. And she said, I'm glad you got to see me too.
Jam:And I
Melissa:was like, that's such a dad joke. Yeah. And then my husband said, oh, Roy says that all the time, which is his, sort of his, like, grandpa.
Jam:Oh, yeah.
Melissa:And then the next time we saw Roy, I hugged him. I was like, I'm so glad I got to see you, and he said the same thing. And I was like, you're right. That's right. My aunt's husband who is also a grandpa, the last time I saw it, when I hugged him, I was like, I'm glad I got to see you.
Melissa:He said it too.
Jam:Oh my gosh.
Melissa:So that is my current favorite dad joke is I'm glad you got to see me too. It's funny. It's a good one. Yeah. It's clearly lighthearted.
Melissa:It's a it's just a good one. Apparently, I say I'm glad I get to see you a lot, but so that's my favorite. What about you, Jim?
Jam:This is more in the form of a sort of set up in punch line kind of thing, but still very dad like, I would say. Why did the baby, Decide to, how would you word it, I guess? Why did the baby decide to go Into labor or decide to start trying to be born is a good question. Something like that.
Melissa:Mhmm. So I should ask that?
Jam:I'm asking you.
Melissa:Oh, you're asking me.
Jam:Why the baby don't know. Break it to water. Whatever you wanna say. However you wanna say it. As if the baby is the one, like, doing
Melissa:It was ready to be out of there.
Jam:Because it ran out of womb. Oh, no.
Melissa:That one's very cringey. Yeah. Every time a real joke. Mine's just, like, a a not had Dan dad comment.
Jam:Yep. You know? Another one that's like a comment kinda thing is, like, Have you have you ever heard, like, someone's is like, hey. Yeah. I know.
Jam:I'm I'm from Philadelphia, and it's like, boy, your arms must be tired.
Melissa:I'm from Philadelphia.
Jam:It is like Earth or I forget the way that it's usually said it. I think it yeah. I think it's usually said if you, flew.
Melissa:Oh, I flew in from Philadelphia. You're not there. Oh, because you flew. You flat.
Jam:I was thinking so much about the also the entire part that I just forgot how to typically set up. Things like that. Dave. But I think most of the best ad jokes are things that you can use just Mhmm. In conversation Like, I'm hungry.
Jam:Yep. Oh, I'm glad.
Melissa:Hungry. Nice to meet you. Yeah.
Jam:Yeah. But, yeah, I love stuff like that.
Melissa:My brother did say he when he had, like, kids with friends, you know, it's like, oh, it's funnier now to mispronounce, Like, to say their name wrong on purpose, be like, oh, who's that? Like, not, like, Jordan, but I'll call him John or whatever. Uh-huh. Yeah. It's like it drives them crazy, That's kinda funny.
Melissa:I was like, wow.
Jam:This isn't exactly a dad joke, but one of my favorite movies is this, eighties. Mostly holds up. It's a there's just probably a couple things that maybe are a little outdated in it, but this old age comedy, called Fletch with Chevy Chase. And there's this part where someone asks him, can I get you anything? Just in a very generic way.
Jam:You know? Mhmm. Like, as if I was going into the kitchen I'll recording, and I asked if I could get you anything. There's a very short list that you would expect that I mean by asking you that.
Melissa:Yeah. Like water.
Jam:Like water or coffee or something. But in that movie, Flushy says, do you guys have do you have the Beatles white album? Just like, what am I gonna do? Like, go get that and bring it back to you? Like, what?
Jam:Yeah. I just love I love the fact that you can take a very normal question where people have a specific set of things they're expecting you to respond with And responding with something that's very outside of that, and see what they say.
Melissa:Okay. Well, I'm gonna change the subject Now because this is a good dad joke review, and we wanted to start to, to to sort of shine light on some of our reviews that, are positive, and to thank our listeners for sending them on our q and r. So I'm gonna read you this review. It's from someone in Australia, and those don't always Show up on your Apple Podcast reviews if you're in the United States, but get them sent to us. All reviews of your podcast will get emailed to you.
Melissa:So, this one is called STEMulating, but they he put STEM, s t e m, like science, technology, engineering, math. And he said, I did STEM over 40 years ago, but I didn't learn any of this fun fantastic chemistry. Such a dad. Well done for making chemistry accessible. Keep up the good vibes, Sean.
Melissa:So I thought that was fun.
Jam:Yeah. That's awesome. It's a
Melissa:good dad joke one. And then there's another one you can read at Jam that, Jessica sent into on our website on the contact us page.
Jam:Oh, yes. This is less of a question and more of a loving review. I just listened your bonus edition, we talk about whether or not coffee gets hotter in a thermos. Melissa, you mentioned that being in the thick of the tough zoomed in parts of laboratory chemistry. That's so true, and that is disheartening.
Jam:I want you both to know that this podcast is reminding me every time I listen why I find chemistry interesting, Keeping my morale up. And even if even after I get my degree, I'll still be listening because I wanna keep that interest alive. Thanks so much for all you do.
Melissa:So thanks, Jessica. That was really sweet. And I was thinking also, I realized, regarding that episode about whether or not coffee gets hotter in a thermos. Grant, our friend who wrote in to ask that question, showed up at work or not at work, at church with a mug that his friend had given him as a surprise. And it says, it's not hotter.
Melissa:I was wrong, and he signed it his name in May of 2023.
Jam:Yeah. So he admitted defeat for their, like, years long, Debate about that because of the podcast.
Melissa:So Grant sent a picture of it to me and said, The greatest accomplishment of your podcasting career, which I would argue that maybe the very Exciting news that we've hit 1,000,000 downloads is better than proving grits coworker wrong. Yeah. Yeah. I'll take it. Yeah.
Jam:Both very, very good. So Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Melissa:So that's all I have for us on this q and I'm really glad we got a chance to hear from our listeners. I always love these episodes. I think they're so fun, and, we're really thankful to all of you for the podcast. It would not be possible without you.
Jam:Yes. We are so great for those questions and for those feedback and reviews and all that kind of stuff. If you have a question or an idea, you can reach out to us on Gmail Or Twitter. Actually, never mind. Don't do either of those things.
Jam:Do it on our website atchem for your life.com. Mhmm. Mhmm. It's fem, f o r, your life, .com to share with us some ideas. If you like to help us keep our show going and you attribute to cover the cost of making it, you can do that at patreon.com/chem for your life and join our super cool community patrons or tap the link in our show notes do that?
Jam:If you're not able to do that, you can still help us by subscribing. And if you're a podcast app, rating and writing review on Apple Podcasts. That also helps us share chemistry with even more people.
Melissa:This episode was made possible by our financial supporters over on Patreon, and it means so much to us that you wanna help make chemistry accessible to even more people. Those supporters are Avishai B, Brie M, Brian K, Chris and Claire S, Chelsea B, Derek L, Emerson W, Hunter r, Jacob t, Christina g, Lynn s, Melissa p, Nicole c, Nelly s, Steven b, Shadow, Timothy p, and Venus r. Thanks again for everything that you all do to make chemistry for your life happen. We could not do this without you.
Jam:Yay chemistry.
Melissa:Yay chemistry.
